Neptune's Question About Fanfics I Guess?
by Shoe Daddy
Summary: I'm not the only one who notices this, am I? Look, even I'm not above it!


One day Neptune went over to Lowee's Basilicom, and it so happened to be that time of the month where Blanc was getting ready to submit her latest and greatest fanfic to Lowee's Premier Fanfic Site. I forget what exactly the fic was about, maybe it was Chicken Knight (which was a really fun game that I would highly recommend); but boy, Neptune had a field day with that one. Seriously, they could've done a whole entire scene in one of the games about the banter that occurred between those two, but I'm sure you'd rather not be bored by the details right now.

Anyway, so Blanc was finishing up the last bits of the submission process on her desktop computer. Meanwhile Neptune, who had been curious about the sort of online environment Blanc had been submitting her fics to, was casually browsing the site on Blanc's hipster laptop, which she had **definitely asked permission to use.** As she scrolled through the many pages on the site, she couldn't help but notice one particular trait that nearly every fic had in common. It was going to gnaw straight through her skull if she didn't get answers, so she finally made the mad noise that would prove to give Blanc a really bad day.

"Hey Blanc," Neptune quaintly inquired, "can you explain a little something to me?"

Clicking the final submission button, Blanc turned her attention to her unsightly house guest.

"What is it, Neptune?"

"Have you ever noticed on all these fanfic submissions that the summaries ask a whole bunch of questions to the reader?"

Blanc was a bit taken aback by the question, never expecting Neptune to actually look at the site. She got up from her desk chair and paced over to the recliner that Neptune was currently reclining on, leaning over her shoulder to check what she was doing. Believe it or not, there she was, scrolling the submissions page on Blanc's hipster laptop. Actually, you probably do believe it, since I already told you this ten sentences ago. That aside, Blanc was all ready to answer Neptune's question, when she realized:

"Wait, when did I say you could use my laptop?!"

Neptune casually looked up over her shoulder to meet Blanc's facial expression of annoyed bewilderment with her own of blank innocence. Blanc waited patiently for some sort of witty retort to emerge from Neptune's throat, but none came. After about thirty-two seconds, she decided it was time to end this stalemate.

"So… you were saying about these summaries?"

"Yeah, they all ask these really moody and dramatic questions, like 'Will Ock the Glock find his purpose in this strange new world?' or 'Is a tool of war capable of love?'" Neptune acted out the examples in a dramatic tone, "they're all super corny, and not even the sweet kind."

"Well…" Blanc began to muse over Neptune's observation. It certainly was a popular trend on the site, and even- No, better not bring that up just yet. "I suppose it's to create a sense of mystery or wonder. When an author pitches his or her work to readers, it's always good to try and pique their curiosity."

"Okay, but frankly, these sort of questions just make me not want to read their fics at all. It makes them sound all pretentious and overcompensating; it's sort of like when you can tell a game is gonna suck if the first trailer is only a cutscene… that's a thing in games, right?" Neptune quickly asked, making sure that her obligatory reference had any sort of weight behind it.

"Neptune, I think it's rather rash to judge a person's fic before you even-"

"I DON'T NEED EXTENSIVE ANALYSES TO HAVE GOOD OPINIONS!" Neptune burst out, her patience halfway to thin, "These summary questions are a detriment to this website's community. I dislike firmly! DOWNTHUMBERED."

All of the sudden, Neptune brought her thumb down onto the hipster laptop's mousepad with righteous fury, and began righteously and furiously downvoting every fic that asked a question in its summary, which was pretty much all of them. And to really hammer her point down, she even applied some purple Jacuzzi magic to the site's voting buttons so that they would all continue downvoting FOREVERRRRRRRRRR.

"Dammit, Neptune!" Blanc snapped at her guest, fed up with such immature abuse of the site's features, "You're going to flood the voting economy if you don't cut the shit! Nobody will ever be able to takes voting scores seriously anymore!"

"Well for your fic's sake, I hope you don't partake in this deplorable practice, or you're gonna have a really bad day."

"Eh…" Blanc began to sputter nervously, slowly but surely losing her composure, "of course not! I mean, I was just speaking from experience analyzing other authors' fics, not that I've done this sort of thing before…"

Sensing the bullshit in Blanc's voice, Neptune slowly maneuvered her mouse to the page's refresh button, all without taking her glare off of Blanc's nervous smile. She clicked the button, the page refreshed. Deciding that she had built up enough dramatic tension, she looked over to the most recent submission and read the summary:

 _What does Chicken Knight want most out of his life? Is it chivalry, or legacy?_

The next 20 seconds could best be described as a complete blur. Neptune slammed the hipster laptop shut and Titan-Tossed it across the room; the sounds of the laptop shattering on the floor were enough to drive Blanc's wallet to suicune. But that wasn't all: Neptune began to literally chimp out, jumping and swinging all around Blanc's study while making infernal monkey noises, before finally diving out the window and onto the streets below the Basilicom. Blanc looked out to those streets to see what had happened to Neptune, only to instantly regret that decision as she saw her hoo-ha-ing every civilian she came across. After calling the cleaning crew to her study, Blanc could do nothing but groan, not because of the damage Neptune caused, but because it was far from the worst thing Neptune had done at her Basilicom, or probably would do in the future.

Neptune would appear on that night's episode of _Banana Slamma with Douglas Donkong_ for her escapades in Lowee that day.

Nobody reviewed Blanc's fic.


End file.
